i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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