JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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