She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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