I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
