my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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