I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I came so hard my ears popped.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
