Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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