He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
