I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize