No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
