Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Boobs speak an international language.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
