i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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