am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
