break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i think i have herpe
just one?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
