i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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