what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
