those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
