i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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