he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
