I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize