u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
