I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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