I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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