idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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