I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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