I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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