In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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