Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
