All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How external is "for external use only"?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
