Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
