my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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