I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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