A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
