The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
