My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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