used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize