Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
