just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I will be naked everywhere
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
