He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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