I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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