So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
