She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
