i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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