I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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