But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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