I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
