Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize