At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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