I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
