Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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