There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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