did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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