Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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