Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
