ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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