he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
