i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
