My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
