life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
