how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
